The Toolbox
Whether cutting jew’ls,
wood, rugs or verse, good workers
must know all their tools’
customs; tongues have rules
too—which will guide the learnèd
as they order fools.*
A Test
If you have a mind
you can prove anti-pedants’
inconsistency
for I have designed
a quick test: misspell their names
deliberately
and you will soon find
some laws are good. Try spelling
“Stephen” with a v;†
he won’t be so kind,
I warrant, to those who would feel
that convention-free.
Whether cutting jew’ls,
wood, rugs or verse, good workers
must know all their tools’
customs; tongues have rules
too—which will guide the learnèd
as they order fools.*
A Test
If you have a mind
you can prove anti-pedants’
inconsistency
for I have designed
a quick test: misspell their names
deliberately
and you will soon find
some laws are good. Try spelling
“Stephen” with a v;†
he won’t be so kind,
I warrant, to those who would feel
that convention-free.
* Douglas Bader: “Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”
† these verses (in slightly different form) were originally posted as a comment, at Catallaxy Files, on a rant by Stephen Fry against grammatical pedantry.
UPDATE: I added what is now the last verse.
UPDATE II: I added this:
A Message
I, for one, delight
in seeing our wonderful
language used quite well;
yet we may enjoy
the ‘cool web’ of English and,
at the same time, tell
this Stephen Fry cove,
“Precision does have a place.
You can go to hell.”
