all right

Occasionally adding corroborative details to add verisimilitude to otherwise bald and unconvincing,
but veridicous accounts
with careful attention, indefatigable assiduity, and nice discrimination.

25 March, 2013

More Labor Sleaze

Lying Down on the Job

Perhaps Albo had
misheard the PM when she
said, “Stay on message!”

and misunderstood
her “happy endings” speech, too.
Is this a presage

of things to come?  Most
in the Cabinet, clearly,
are scarcely imbued

with great intellect
but, along with the country,
are thoroughly screwed.

Small Asian hands!  Anthony Albanese enjoying a brief,  vertical massage.

The Appropriate Sobriquet

The nickname’s easy:
Anthony Albanese
truly is Sleazy.

Is Gillard queasy?
No, her grins remain cheesy;
her hands still greasy.

Gillard’s Typical Double Standard

The PM must pout
whilst continuing to tout
her unseemly clout.

Why won’t she “call out”

misogyny from a lout?
She’s so quick to shout

that Abbott’s devout

and, therefore, will always flout

whatever she’ll spout.

I have little doubt,

in the next election bout,
there’ll be quite a rout.

The PM’s own picture of a serial abuser and a radio host.

Hon. Anthony Albanese—Minister for Infrastructure and Transport, and Regional Development and Local Government—, frequents, it seems, shonky massage parlours.  Ay, there’s the rub.*  See Michael Smith’s “Anthony Albanese and his dangerously poor judgement.
Hon. Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia, famously shrieked that she’d “call out misogyny” whenever she encountered it; however, though she continues to attack the Leader of the Opposition for such overtly misogynistic behaviour as glancing at his wristwatch during some of her shrill ranting, she gladly consorts publicly with people such as the vile Kyle Sandilands, a proven abuser of vulnerable women and girls.

*  Perhaps the minister seeks a soothing massage in order to soliloquise: 
     To be or not to be a minister….
     To lie, perchance to cream; aye, there’s the rub,
     for in this lying down, what creams may come,
     when we are shuffled off with massage oil. … 
UPDATE I (26 March):  at Catallaxy, in response to a comment asserting that Anthony Albanese’s private affairs “should have no bearing on politics”, I wrote:
It has a great bearing on politics if compromising photographs of Albanese were used to stop his standing for deputy leader.  It has a great bearing on politics if workers in that parlour were here on 457 visas.  It has a great bearing on politics if any worker therein be underage.  It has a great bearing on politics if any worker therein entered this country unlawfully.  It has a great bearing on politics if our corrupt PM has managed to cling to power by using a giant dirt file.  It has a great bearing on politics if our hypocritical PM […] exculpates any fault, wrongdoing, slip or crime, if committed by someone whose vote she requires.
I don’t know whether any of these suppositions be at all likely; accordingly, I’d like this matter to be investigated properly.
UPDATE II (26 March):  see “It’s Always a Happy Ending for Albo” by Will Dallas Brooks:
Now, visiting a massage parlour is not illegal in New South Wales; nor is engaging the services of a sex-worker at a brothel.  If it [be] on his own dime and time, we have no problem with that.
But let’s not kid ourselves:  prostitution is not a victimless crime, regardless of whether it [be] illegal or not. The majority of brothel workers are engaged in sex-work not out of choice, but cold necessity:  they offer their bodies because they are unable to get another job, or because they are addicted to drugs or gambling, or because they are damaged, psychologically, from sexual, physical or emotional abuse.  Many are forced into it, and others see it as the only way to make enough money to escape their existing lives.   […]
So for the Manager of Government Business in the Australian Federal Government, whose Prime Minister has said “I will call out misogyny wherever, and whenever, I see it” and making the current election about “strong feminism” versus “prurient sexism”, to be involved in such a tawdry affair is, quite honestly, as dumb as a sack of hammers.
UPDATE III (1 May):  seeA Prejudicial Press”, by Larry Pickering:
What if one of Tony Abbott’s front benchers, and Leader of Opposition Business in the House, [were] caught in a Thai brothel in his own electorate?  Mmmm, can you imagine the uproar?
Well, Christopher Pyne’s opposite number in Government, Anthony Albanese, was caught doing exactly that.  Not a murmur from the Press, no questions for Mr Albanese, not even a hint of concern or interest.
UPDATE IV (7 August):

Our Compliant ABC Sees Nothing

One Coalition
MP errs and the outrage
runs off the scales,

but the ABC—
obliged to report the news—
altogether fails

to mention Albo was
seen in a pub with Thommo
having a few ales:

they discussed, no doubt,
massages, slush funds, deals and
many sordid tales.

They should have counted
how many Labor MPs
might soon be in gaols.

UPDATE V (19 September):  above, I predicted “there’ll be quite a rout”; there was (though the ALP removed Julia Gillard as PM to “save the furniture”, replacing her with the allegedly more popular, previous PM, Kevin Rudd):  the coalition’s seats in the House of Representatives increased from 73 to 90, and the ALP’s number of seats declined from 72 to 55.

22 March, 2013

Julia Gillard as Captain Edward Smith

On the RMS Labortanic

“Attention! Hear this,
hear this, passengers; this is
your captain speaking.

we steamed into an iceberg
but we’re not leaking

anywhere at all
that cannot be mended with
a little tweaking.

My whole crew refused
to elect a new master,
so no-one’s seeking

a change in leader.
I’ve won! I’m the best captain!
Ignore the shrieking.”

UPDATE (4 May):  see “Julia Gillard stops one boat”:
Prime Minister Julia Gillard experienced a sinking feeling that she was going down with the ship in Tasmania on Wednesday.
The Prime Minister's flying visit to the north-west included a tour of Devonport’s new $4 million Bass Strait Maritime Centre, which was built with federal, state and council funding.
Ms Gillard was invited to take the controls of the 1925 steam ship S.S. Woniora simulator, and […] she should hang onto her day job, with the good ship Woniora going to the bottom of the Mersey River with the Prime Minister at the helm.