The Elocution of Julia Gillard

Coaching the Prime Minister Not to Speak through Her Nose 

“Heow neow, theow breown ceow,”
says the PM, being taught*
to speak less queerly

by a therapist.
“‘Community,’ Ms Gillard,
has a t, clearly,

and ‘hyperbole’
has four syllables, not three,”
he says, severely.

“So, do try again:
practise saying that we must
all live austerely

whilst our leaders and
betters fly around the world
quite cavalierly.”

After a few days,
however, the therapist
halts.  “I shall merely

try, PM, to help
you, when you utter your lies,
to speak sincerely—

since the taxpayers
are paying for these sessions,
and paying dearly—;

let’s say, together,
‘There’ll be no rise of the air
tax—except yearly’.”


Meanwhile, Our Government’s Nannying Continues

In other news from
Canberra:  they’ll ban some foods†
lest folk wrongly feed

on hamburgers and
chips and other nosh which they
like but do not need.

Gillard must have vowed
during the last election,
“It is guaranteed:

there’ll be no tax on
carbohydrates under the
government I lead.”

*  see “Julia Gillard to get spin classes after PM sends SOS to image expert”, by Linda Silmalis, in The Sunday Telegraph.
†  or, at least, the advertisements thereof.  See also “Prime Ministerial Nannying” in “The Wisdom of Julia Gillard”.

UPDATE:  See also “Incredibly Challenging”, “Unfit to Lead” and “The PM and the People Agree”.

UPDATE II: 

    Before she wandered into politics,
    before she employed her Leninist tricks,
Gillard’s schnoz was fairly petite in size.

    If you now glance at her conk of a nose,
    it is far longer than Pinocchio’s;
Gillard’s beak reveals how often she lies.