OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE WARNING: a vulgar term for the pudenda muliebrum is below.
“If it doesn’t hurt, it won’t work”
A columnist, E. Farrelly,* has said,
“Society will very soon be dead
unless you recognise your filthy ways
have brought about our doom, the end of days.”
Our culture—sooth!—is evil in its hope
to maximise the freedom and the scope
of opportunity for all to dwell
in comfort, not some pious, earthly hell.
The arrogant and smug, disdainful berk†
says, “if it doesn’t hurt, it will not work.”
“The pain,” she says, “of doing as the Greens
commend (but do not practise) means
that we might just survive this awful age
as long as folk can overcome the rage
for medicines and hospitals and such
that use excessive power far too much.
We can’t allow the people to offend
against the future! We shall make them spend
their filthy lucre, not on luxuries,
but, through taxation, on great subsidies
for solar power and the like; and then
the climate may not be so bad for men.
The government is useless, I concede,
but taxing CO2 must be agreed,
and any opposition is berserk
for if it doesn’t hurt, it will not work.”
The costs of living are so high for some
who dread the day when ‘carbon’ prices come;
they question whether Farrelly could say
how much the ‘carbon’ tax would make them pay.
“You ought to suffer, it will make you cease
polluting if your power costs increase,”
says Farrelly. Some cry, “please tell us how,
we’ll pay bills then if we can’t pay them now.”
“Well, pawn your gems!” The cunt adds with a smirk,
“You plebs prefer to dwell within the murk,
I know, you cling to arms—your gun or dirk—
or even sing some ancient songs in kirk
(against the imprecations of the Turk),
but when it’s time to suffer pain, you shirk.
There’s no defence to pardon such a quirk
for if it doesn’t hurt, it will not work.”
A columnist, E. Farrelly,* has said,
“Society will very soon be dead
unless you recognise your filthy ways
have brought about our doom, the end of days.”
Our culture—sooth!—is evil in its hope
to maximise the freedom and the scope
of opportunity for all to dwell
in comfort, not some pious, earthly hell.
The arrogant and smug, disdainful berk†
says, “if it doesn’t hurt, it will not work.”
“The pain,” she says, “of doing as the Greens
commend (but do not practise) means
that we might just survive this awful age
as long as folk can overcome the rage
for medicines and hospitals and such
that use excessive power far too much.
We can’t allow the people to offend
against the future! We shall make them spend
their filthy lucre, not on luxuries,
but, through taxation, on great subsidies
for solar power and the like; and then
the climate may not be so bad for men.
The government is useless, I concede,
but taxing CO2 must be agreed,
and any opposition is berserk
for if it doesn’t hurt, it will not work.”
The costs of living are so high for some
who dread the day when ‘carbon’ prices come;
they question whether Farrelly could say
how much the ‘carbon’ tax would make them pay.
“You ought to suffer, it will make you cease
polluting if your power costs increase,”
says Farrelly. Some cry, “please tell us how,
we’ll pay bills then if we can’t pay them now.”
“Well, pawn your gems!” The cunt adds with a smirk,
“You plebs prefer to dwell within the murk,
I know, you cling to arms—your gun or dirk—
or even sing some ancient songs in kirk
(against the imprecations of the Turk),
but when it’s time to suffer pain, you shirk.
There’s no defence to pardon such a quirk
for if it doesn’t hurt, it will not work.”
* Elizabeth Farrelly, of The Sydney Morning Herald, in “Full steam ahead to oblivion”, writes: “Let’s not pretend. There’s more at stake here than lifestyle. A carbon tax that did not diminish our living standard would be futile and governments have no business promising, as Swan-Gillard rhythmically do, that petrol or electricity prices won’t rise or that big polluters won’t pay. The whole point is to impact us, and not in a good way. If it doesn’t hurt, it won’t work.”
† rhyming slang, you’ll recall; short for Berkeley Hunt.
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