After the Rapture

I was taken up! I was taken up, and then sent back with a message for all mankind!

Verily, it is written:

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. [Matt., vii. 15-20]

The nasty, malevolent Clive Hamilton, the meretricious Naomi Oreskes, the avaricious Al Gore, the very silly Tim Flannery, the criminally insane James Hansen, the gibbering Bill McKibben, and their like—not forgetting the late Robyn Williams—, are as ferocious wolves in the shepherd-like garb of pastoral prophets, but the fictitious, spurious predictions of dreadful doom and their dire, maleficent maledictions are the foul, corrupt fruit whereby ye shall recognise them.

Rejoice!  Clearly, the world is not ending, the glorious globe is not warming dangerously from man’s inventive ingenuity; the foolish, alleged believers of the ancient earth-goddess Gaia do not have your interests at heart in their mischievous, misanthracist, misbegotten misanthropism, but their dismal days of influence are now numbered.  Rejoice, for the beginning of the end—of the lies from hypocritical hierophants in the fallacious, bogus religion of catastrophic, man-made global warming—is nigh.