all right

Occasionally adding corroborative details to add verisimilitude to otherwise bald and unconvincing,
but veridicous accounts
with careful attention, indefatigable assiduity, and nice discrimination.

05 February, 2013

Cabinet Leaks – a Cunning Plan

In her office in The Lodge, the Hon. Julia Gillard is distractedly eating her breakfast at her desk, casting anxious looks occasionally out the window; clearly, she is impatiently waiting for something.  On the other side of the room, a nervous private secretary awaits instructions.  Her leman rushes in with an armful of newspapers.

Ms Julia GillardAh, the papers at last, Timmy.  There’s a good boy.  Would you like a treat, Timmy?
Timmy:  Umm, yum.  Did Timmy do good?

Julia GillardYes, Timmy, you did well.  Off you go.  I mean, go, now!  No, don’t pee on the floor; leave the room!
Ms Julia Gillard:  Right.  I had a cunning plan to stop cabinet leaks—or, at least, to discover which treacherous rat is leaking—and told Combet, Macklin, Shorten, Plibersek, Crean, Swan and Wong in confidence that I’d call a leadership spill next week; but—and here’s the really clever bit, which I did not get from McNasty, mind—I secretly told each of them individually that the vote would be held on a different day!  Ha!  I said, “on a different day!”
Private Secretary:  What? Oh, sorry.  Yes, very clever, Prime Minister.

Ms Julia Gillard:  Anyway, what does The Courier Mail say? 
Private Secretary:  Rattled PM calls leadership ballot on Wednesday.

Ms Julia Gillard:  Bloody Swan!  What does The Herald Sun say? 
Private Secretary:  “Embattled PM calls leadership ballot on Tuesday.”

Ms Julia Gillard:  Bloody Crean!  He’s next.  What does The Age say?
Private Secretary:  “Surprise vote call from brave PM next week.

Ms Julia Gillard:  Well, that’s much better.  Good old Michelle.  What else does The Age say?
Private Secretary:  “Our resilient PM, in a show of strength, has called for a series of leadership ballots on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday as well as Sunday.”

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