A Land of Severer Severities

Unless We Tax Our Air 

No coolth within, no rain without,
Will Steffen ever has no doubt:
a long dry spell could soon spell drought
unless we tax our air.

At last, however, ceaseless rain
would flood each dusty, wide, brown plain
and some would not see land again
unless we tax our air.

Whatever happens, he will say,
might expedite a dismal day
of floods or droughts or much dismay
unless we tax our air.

Consensus and authorities
agree with him, and he agrees
with them that none would be at ease
unless we tax our air.

All Steffen’s chums have guaranteed
more “greenhouse” gases antecede
great warming (which may come with speed)
unless we tax our air.

In warmists’ wild imaginings
some slightly warmer weather brings
severer storms and spooky things
unless we tax our air.

Severer the severities,
among eternal verities,
there will be no prosperities
unless we tax our air.

Will Steffen is a man of clout
so we must heed each mighty shout:
“Floods might cause floods, drought could bring drought,
unless we tax our air!”

Prof. Will Steffen, a silly, duplicitous fellow, but a Climate Commissioner, asserts that, “Extended dry periods are expected to increase in southwest and southeast Australia by the end of this century, increasing the risk of drought.”  See “Droughts May Lead to Droughts”.

UPDATE I:  added what are now the fifth and sixth stanzas. 

UPDATE II:  added this:

They claim it’s from a peer-review:
there is but one thing we can do
to save us from the C-O-2
which dissipates from stack or flue
and wickedly turns skies into
a dreadful, sickly, evil hue,
and leaves a nasty residue
which makes each fluffy kitten spew
or forces herbivores to chew
on cuddly bunnies; far too few
have recognised what must ensue
if we don’t pay attention to
Will Steffen and his crazy crew
(such as his boss, the Flamster, who
predicted ruin, overdue,
for cities which would have to queue
for drinking water—quite untrue);
they ever seek more revenue
and try to make each person rue
the day one lit a barbecue
or drove a car or rode or flew
towards a far-off rendezvous);
they say that mankind’s down the loo—
in other words, we’re in deep poo—
unless we tax our air.

UPDATE III: added what is now the seventh stanza.

UPDATE IV (14 July, 2013):  see “A Change Is in the Air”.