The Greatest Book on the Greatest President

A new book, Obama: the Greatest President in the History of Everything (Broadside, 2011; ISBN 978-0-06-213260-4) [16 pp.*], by Frank J. Fleming, is now available at Amazon.com.  The price, according to a review at PJ Media (by a reviewer, coincidentally, who has the same name as the author), is an affordable $1.99, but the price I paid was an even more affordable $0.00; accordingly, Obama: the Greatest President in the history of Everything is infinitely cheaper, and far better value, than any other book I have bought from Amazon recently.

It’s hard to remember the dark days before 2008.  It was a time of hatred, racism, violence, obese children, war, untaxed rich people, and incandescent light bulbs—perhaps the worst days we had ever seen.  And at the heart of it all was a thuggish, thoughtless man, George W. Bush, who lashed out angrily at whatever he didn’t understand—and he understood so very little.  Then there was that laugh of his—that horrible snicker that mocked everything intelligent and nuanced.  Also, he looked like a chimp.
It seemed like the end for the United States of America.  We would crumble in the hands of vicious, superstitious dimwits determined to hunt “ter’ists” or other figments of Bush’s rotten mind.  There was nothing left to do but head to Whole Foods to prepare our organic, sustainable, fair-trade last meal as the country ended around us.  Despair had overtaken us, and we wondered aloud whether we could ever feel hope again.
And then a man emerged who firmly answered, “Yes we can!”
Oh, but Barack Obama was no mere man.  He was a paragon of intelligence and civilized society.  A saviour to the world’s depressed.  A lightbringer.  A genius thinking thoughts the common man could never hope to comprehend. And his words—his beautiful words read from crystal panes—reached down to our souls and told us all would be well.  With the simple act of casting a ballot for Barack Obama, we could make the world an immeasurably better place—a world of peace, of love, of understanding, of unicorns, of rainbows, of expanded entitlements.  This was his promise.  And now, having had him as president for more than two years, we can say without reservation that he has delivered all his promises and more and is the best president this country—or any country—has ever had or could even imagine to have.

The book is a magnificent opusculum.  I have, however, just one small quibble:  though some words and names of past presidents—if one may even mention previous presidents in the same sentence when considering the transcendent, glorious incumbent—are italicised, the paragraph on Chester A. Arthur uses underscores instead of italics for one word—“_more_”.
Apart from that one blemish, and the lack of really obsequious grovelling of the wonderful Commander in Chief, and too many mentions of his evil predecessor, and a dearth of praise for the beauteous First Lady of Grace and Style, the book is without fault.  Oh, and it’s too short.  Also, every now and again one begins to suspect that the author doesn’t really quite know how to describe his rightful esteem for His Magnificence, the Leader of Free Peoples Everywhere, with sufficient vim and vigour or humility; otherwise, the book is superlative, essential reading for every citizen of this or any other world.

[*  or more, depending on preferred format]