Call That a Conspiracy? This Is a Conspiracy!

An alternative to CAGW

The problem with the catastrophic anthropogenic global warming (CAGW) hypothesis, to many people disordered by an inconvenient preference for logical reasoning, is that, for CAGW’s proponents, their all-encompassing, misanthracist hypothesis explains everything:  all results prove their hypothesis; all data which contradict their models’ forecasts are conveniently used to confirm the hypothesis.  If the meaningless, mathematical average of global temperature increase, it must be because of anthropogenic carbon dioxide; if the average decrease, it must be because of the dangerous, turbulent effects of anthropogenic carbon dioxide; if the average remain the same, it must be because of the strange, unpredictable nature of anthropogenic carbon dioxide.

The circular reasoning for proponents of the CAGW hypothesis cannot be disproven (they believe) because the hypothesis holds that all changes of climate—for better or worse—are forced by carbon dioxide (and other greenhouse gases) and, paradoxically, that any period of no change is a concomitant part of the modelling.

Two sides, however, can play this game.  The SCI-FI-PAL* theory maintains that the world is not endangered by any increase or decrease of carbon dioxide but by the costly theories of alleged scientists, self-interested purveyors of doom, and their foolish fellow travellers, who falsely prophesy in the vainglorious pursuit of profits and in support of the powerful. 

Any evil of the modern world is the fault of the SCI-FI-PAL collective.  Are educational standards falling in your schools?  It is because educational theories and practices have been perverted by the SCI-FI-PAL thinking in faculties of education.  Are meteorological or economic forecasts too often wrong?  Clearly, SCI-FI-PAL-style reasoning has infected the forecasting staff and their computer programmers.  Have the standards of the supposed journalism of our national broadcasters fallen?  Blame SCI-FI-PAL thinking. Have supposed democracies stupidly appeased wicked dictators or, equally foolishly, tried to subvert their domination without considering the consequences?  The politicians have been afflicted with SCI-FI-PAL wickedness.

Proponents of CAGW calumniate anyone who refuses to profess the new faith as illiterate and unscientific, yokels and deniers.  Again, two can play that game.  If an adherent of the CAGW cult proclaim anything at all, it can be completely refuted by saying, “Sadly, you’re just saying that because of your SCI-FI-PAL beliefs,” and, should a CAGW-cultist call you a denier, remind him or her that every single architect of the Holocaust was a wicked supporter of SCI-FI-PAL. 

The SCI-FI-PAL theory cannot be disproven, for the theory shows that doubters of the theory are contaminated by their sycophancy, and only those who promote the SCI-FI-PAL attempt to disprove it.  QED.

Remember, all conspiracy theories emanate from our universities.  Why?  The universities are controlled by self-interested cabals who are attempting to indoctrinate society into mindlessly licking the arses of those who have (or want to have) power.  Resist!  Resist the proctoleichous SCI-FI-PAL collective!

*  selfish conspirators instigating, for income, perpetual arse-licking.